Crappy grown up stuff...

Welp. Go figure that the first pregnancy I announced at such an early stage would be the one that I miscarried. I just figured that I was so proficient at having kids that the chances I would have problems with my 5th kid were really small.

If you're a dude, you should probably just stop reading. Or if you don't care to know the gruesome details, just go make yourself a bowl of ice cream and sit down to a nice rerun of the office. Because you'll never look at an ice cream scooper the same after this...

Just kidding. But not really.

I started to spot bleed around 8 weeks. We went in for an ultrasound the next day and the baby was measuring pretty much on track. I had a small amount of clotting in the uterus around the placenta but it looked small enough that my body might have been able to re-absorb it. He gave me a 50% chance of miscarriage.

The next week looked good, I hadn't bled any more and we went in for another ultrasound about a week after the first one. The baby had decreased in size to about 5 weeks and 6 days and there was no heart beat. There was also quite a bit more blood in my uterus. My doctor was certain that I miscarried but wanted to get my blood count just to be sure. It came back a few days later at about 28,000 which is common for someone around 10 weeks.

I had miscarried.

So he gave me the option of doing a D&C. I immediately told him no, that I would do it on my own. And then a week later I still hadn't miscarried. After some great advice from family and friends everyone had told me the same thing. GET A D&C. If you don't have to experience the pain, DON'T.

Today was the D&C. And they were completely correct. I didn't feel the pain. I didn't contract and bleed like a stuck hog. It was immediately over and I could mourn and get it over with. I'm not even bleeding now. My doctor said it will be easier and faster to try and get pregnant again. All around it was a really great experience.

I have to say the Lord has really blessed us. When my husband deployed I spent the first couple months acting all woe is me. And then I realized. There really is no use crying over spilled milk. Deployments happen and there's nothing you can do about it. Miscarriages happen and there's nothing you can do about it. I can kick and scream and throw a giant fit worthy of an Oscar but the reality is this happened for a reason. And I truly believe that I'll be able to raise this child in the next life. The only question is...

Were you a boy or a girl. Because I've got TONS of ideas on what your nursery is going to be like in heaven.